Use This Tool to Align With Your Purpose

Do you believe you are a divine soul, having a human experience? I do. Ever since I can remember, I’ve had a knowingness that there is a part of me that is deeply spiritual. I’ve always felt an energy beyond myself, something greater than me that all of life seems to be connected to. For a while, I didn’t know what to call that energy, and God never quite seemed to fit. Then I found Reiki and learned about ki or life force energy. When I started to learn more about Reiki and the concepts of energy things started to click. Suddenly I had the language to talk about what I perceived.

Often, when I talk to other Reiki practitioners or google Reiki I’ll find an extensive list of things that Reiki can help with. I agree that this is true in my life, Reiki has provided me with many benefits and life changes. At the same time, I refuse to make claims that Reiki is some kind of cure-all system.

Reiki doesn’t swoop in and cure anyone. Everyone I’ve known who’s experienced the healing power that Reiki has, has experienced it because of something within themselves. To receive the full benefits of Reiki, you have to be willing to flow with the way Reiki moves you. You have to be willing to make the changes in your life that Reiki guides you to.

One of the biggest questions many people are seeking the answer to is, “What is my life’s purpose?” Reiki is a fantastic tool to use when facing this question. The beautiful thing about Reiki is that it helps you focus within. When it comes to our life purpose, we don’t discover it outside of ourselves, rather we uncover it within ourselves.

For me, Reiki answered a calling deep within me, it brought me home. It’s helped me so much on my journey, I knew that I wanted to share it with others. What I love about Reiki though is that it can help anyone find their calling. Even if you feel drawn to Reiki for yourself, it doesn’t mean it’s meant to be your life’s work.

Take Theresa for example. Theresa took Reiki with me to find peace in her own life. As she’s journeyed with Reiki, she’s learned to use Reiki to support her in her work with clients. Not as a Reiki practitioner, but as a mediator. Learning Reiki has helped her to fall back in love with her work and hold space in a powerful way for her clients.

Reiki can serve anyone, in any field of work, especially those who support others in their work.

You don’t have to be trained in Reiki to start realizing its benefits in your life. We all are connected to life force energy and have the ability to access it any time we choose. We are all connected to the same life force energy all the time. In Reiki, you simply learn to connect with life force energy on deeper levels.

Try this exercise to tune into your heart, the center where we connect to our inner knowing and higher self.

Place your feet on the ground and your hand on your heart.

Close your eyes and just start by breathing. Following your breath as you inhale and exhale.

Allow your breath to pull you in towards your body, bringing awareness to your heart space. Bring all your senses to your heart, your inner vision, your hearing, smell, taste, and feeling.

What do you notice as you bring your awareness to your heart space?

Ask your heart, “Where are you guiding me?” and notice what arises in your senses.

Sit with whatever comes to you and trust that it will begin to make sense to you.

Whatever comes up for you, what is the next action that you can take that your heart is guiding you towards?

Now, go do that thing!

I’d love to hear how this exercise worked for you, just reply to this email to share your experience. If you have any questions about what came up for you, I’d love to help you clarify.

Congratulations, on taking the next step towards your life purpose!

With love and light,

P.S. Click the photo below to register for a group reiki healing session on October 1st! I’d love to see you there!

How can you attract the right person for you?

The need to be loved is one of your most basic and fundamental needs. For many of you, having a healthy relationship may determine your happiness. I’ve seen so many clients come in seeking to be loved and denying themselves joy in the present.

Our need to be loved is valid and rooted in the human experience. Research shows that one of the most important predictors of late-life happiness is stable relationships. These types of relationships are rooted in friendship. More than anything, it’s companionship that leads to happiness.

So, why then do you struggle with finding companionship? Why do you struggle to feel loved?

It’s because you are too busy focusing on the other instead of focusing within. In order to attract the right person for you, you have to be the person that you want to attract.

Are you that person right now? Do you know who you are, what you desire, and what you need? Are you leading from the heart, from your authenticity and integrity? 

Are you living a power-centered life or are you leading from a place of control? You can’t be doing both at the same time. If you’re not living a power-centered life then chances are you answered no to the above questions.

Leading a power-centered life means taking responsibility for yourself. For your thoughts, beliefs, choices, actions, emotions, and experiences. It’s making choices that support you. It’s living in a state of presence and equality.

Leading from a place of control means that you’re primarily focused externally. You’re concerned with other people and the timing of when things happen. You feel frustrated, unequal, isolated, and like your life is a constant struggle. You’ll find yourself judging, blaming, and fighting with the world around you. 

You don’t have to experience all these things, in fact, if you experience just one of them, you’re operating from control.

In order for you to attract loving relationships, you need to be living a power-centered life. The key to attracting a loving relationship isn’t in searching for the right person. Instead focus on clarifying who you are, what you desire, and what you need. When you do that, the right person will be able to recognize you because they’ll be looking for the same things. You’ll magnetize to each other.

Learn to let go of the things that you try to control and the things that you feel control you. When you let go of lower vibrational energy, you make space in your field for the things you desire.

Start working on feeling confident in yourself and believing in your own worth. Treat yourself how you want to be treated. Accept nothing less than what you deserve. Surrender and stay open to opportunities.

One of the keys to power is presence. Practicing presence is simple to start doing right now. Simply practice paying attention to your physical senses. Pay attention to what you see, feel, hear, taste, and smell at different moments throughout your day. Then, when you interact with others, bring that same level of presence to that person. See them, and let yourself be seen. 

When you are present in the physical world, you invite magic to happen. You experience life the way that you’re meant to, through enjoyment and pleasure. Your relationships are going to reflect that and, out of that, love will grow.

If you’re interested in diving deeper into learning to live a power-centered life, this is exactly one of the things that we work on in Intuitive Healing Sessions together. Together, we’ll discover where in your energy you’re holding onto control. I’ll guide you through practicing deep presence and witnessing yourself so that you can let go. To book a session, click here.

With love and light,

My Journey with Codependency

As I’ve been reading Codependent No More in preparation for the reading group, it’s reminding me of my own story and struggles with codependency. I’ve realized both how far I’ve come and how much growth there still is to do. 

The book begins with a few stories of codependents and it’s inspired me to share my own. As I’ve been reading, it reminded me how important it is to know that you’re not alone on this journey. Everyone’s story is different and yet we can all relate to each other.

As I look back now, it’s clear that my story of codependency began in childhood. At the time, that wasn’t something that was at all in my awareness. It wasn’t until the end of my first marriage that I became aware that I struggle with codependency.

That was a little over six years ago. I remember sitting down with my ex-mother-in-law and her telling me that it was my responsibility to fix things with my ex-husband. My inner self was reeling. How long had I tried to make things better? Had she met her son? Did she know what he did to me? Did she know about his addictions? How long had I been taking responsibility for all of his problems and failing to change him? 

It was at that moment that I finally decided that I was done. The fact that there was nothing I could do for him hit me on the head. That wake-up call showed me not only had I spent the last two years of my life trying to change things. I had completely lost myself in the process. I no longer knew who I was or what brought me joy.

That was when I started to learn about codependency. As a codependent person, I thought that I was responsible for my partners’ thoughts, feelings, and actions. I didn’t know what I wanted or needed and I neglected my wants and needs when I did know. I felt angry, victimized, unappreciated, and used. All the signs pointed to codependency.

So, how did I get to that moment? For me, it began in my childhood. I was raised in a household that modeled codependency and preached independence. I survived through emotional and other abuse and witnessed abuse happening to family members. The tendency in my family was always to people please, to put family peace before inner peace.

By the time I entered my first serious relationship I had learned to operate codependently, putting everyone else’s needs before my own. After all, how we are raised has so much to do with how we show up in our relationships. Any relationship we have is always holding up a mirror for us and showing us who we are on the inside. For me, my insides were empty or at least buried deep within me. So instead of being myself, my strategy was to absorb myself into my partners.

That pattern continued on for years, I spent ten years in three different relationships, never taking the time to figure out me. Ten years, I absorbed myself into other people and did what I thought would make them happy. Sure, six years ago I realized I was codependent and started taking the steps to gaining my independence. But it was too easy to quickly fall back into the same pattern of trying to rescue someone.

Almost immediately after I finally ended my first marriage for good I started a new relationship. (By the way, that was two years after all the clear red flags showed up in my marriage.) That new relationship was better than the first and I began taking small steps to improving. I began to find parts of myself again through how I expressed myself and really embracing some of the things that brought me joy. At the same time, in this new relationship, I was still trying to rescue them. I was still absorbing myself into his interests without asking him to show any interest in mine.

It wasn’t until that relationship ended just four years ago now that I really started to embrace who I truly am. It took that extra two years of treating myself only slightly better to realize what it would really take to overcome codependency. Since then, I’ve been learning to be more independent and coming more into who I am every day. I’m married to a good person, who’s also independent. During our ceremony, one of the things we promised each other was to always be ourselves and support each other’s independence.

It feels good to look back at how far I’ve come. I’ve grown so much and I still struggle with codependency. It’s still hard for me to stand up for myself if it’s going to upset someone. I still find myself looking for validation and love. But I know that in every moment, I can make a decision that leads to finding more wholeness within myself.

With love and light,

Codependent No More Reading Group – First Meeting August 17th 

I’m excited to move forward with the Codependent No More reading group! We will be meeting every other Wednesday, starting August 17th at 6pm on Zoom.

The cost per meeting for the group is a minimum $10 donation. 

All meetings are confidential. However, I will be recording the meetings so that I can create videos using only clips of myself.

To prepare for the first meeting, please read through Chapter 2, “Other Stories”. If you can, take time to journal on the end of chapter questions and write down any questions you would like to bring to the meeting.

I am expecting a minimum of 12 meetings, however it is possible we will meet a few more times depending on how things go.

You can purchase the book on Amazon here, I recommend having a physical or kindle copy so you can do the exercises:

To register for the meetings you would like to attend please use this link:

If you have any questions, please let me know.

With love and light,

Do You Feel Like You Belong?

“Many codependents, at some time in their lives, were true victims—of someone’s abuse, neglect, abandonment, alcoholism, or any number of situations that can victimize people. We were, at some time, truly helpless to protect ourselves or solve our problems. Something came our way, something we didn’t ask for, and it hurt us terribly. That is sad, truly sad. But an even sadder fact is that many of us codependents began to see ourselves as victims. Our painful history repeats itself. As caretakers, we allow people to victimize us, and we participate in our victimization by perpetually rescuing people. Rescuing or caretaking is not an act of love.”

― Melody Beattie, Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself

As a recovering codependent myself I can relate to this quote so much. Yes, I’ve been a victim of abuse and I’ve also gotten stuck there. I’ve been in the place where the only way I could see myself was as a victim. At the time, I remember how hard it was to get out of it, and how trapped I felt. I’ve been in that position where I’ve allowed someone to victimize me because I wanted to rescue that person.

Melody Beattie’s work was one of the tools I used in reclaiming myself after being in a codependent and toxic relationship. Her work was so impactful that I often use what I learned from her work in the work with my clients. It’s why I’m so excited to be starting a Reading Group and Healing Circle that will be focused on her book Codependent No More.

One of the biggest wounds you’ll struggle with as a codependent is wanting to feel loved and to feel like you belong. But being codependent can be so isolating because you latch onto one person to meet all of your needs. So when you walk away, you’re left feeling empty and having no one to turn to. 

At the same time, you may have felt your entire life that you never fit in. This is because of your super heightened levels of empathy and unique trauma.

As codependents, we need a community of like-minded supporters. We need to talk about our experiences with people who have gone through similar experiences. Often, we underestimate the power of connection in our journey.

In order to build trust and open your heart, you have to be willing to let people who can understand and support you in.

Social connection fuels your body the same way eating, drinking, and breathing does. Without it, we can fall into a self-created pit of despair. Full of negativity, scarcity thinking, and a whole lot of believing you’re alone.

In order to overcome that, you have to forgive yourself and others. You have to heal your resentments, let go of victimhood, and release the pain from the past. Only then can you learn the lesson offered.

You can start the forgiveness process with Ho’oponopono. Simply focus on the statements, “I’m sorry. Forgive me. Thank you. I love you.”

It’s these practices and more that we’ll discuss and work through together as we read Codependent No More.

It’s been on my mind the past couple of months to start a reading group and healing circle.

We will be starting with the book Codependent No More by Melody Beattie.

The plan is to read each chapter(s) on our own and then come together for a facilitated group discussion and healing exercises related to each chapter.

So far out of the responses I have received, it looks like Wednesday evenings are going to be the best option that works for most people. I’ve got a good mix of people that prefer Zoom and others that prefer in-person. So I am considering a hybrid model where people can call into the meeting for Zoom or meet with us in person.

For the first meeting to discuss the reading plan, we’ll be meeting on Zoom, next Wednesday, August 3rd at 6pm PT. The first meeting is free, if you’d like to attend the reading group please join us so that I can get your feedback and best tailor the group to everyone’s needs. The link to register for the Zoom meeting is below, register in advance so you don’t miss it!

You are invited to a Zoom meeting.
When: Aug 3, 2022 06:00 PM Pacific Time (US and Canada)

Register in advance for this meeting:

After registering, you will receive a confirmation email containing information about joining the meeting.