Balancing a career with motherhood has been a challenging yet enlightening journey for me. I realized I needed to make significant changes when I experienced extreme levels of overwhelm, stress, and burnout. I dreaded going to work on days I was away from my baby, feeling unable to juggle everything.
The most significant stressors were multifaceted. One major issue was constantly taking care of everyone else’s needs while neglecting my own, which left me exhausted and burned out with nothing left to give. This made it difficult to be productive or present in any aspect of my life. Another significant stressor was my heightened sensitivity to my baby’s crying, particularly at bedtime. The baby’s cries would trigger a fight-or-flight response in me, leaving me in a state of high alert for hours and sometimes into the next day, severely impacting my ability to relax and be productive. Additionally, trying to manage housework, work responsibilities, and taking care of the baby as the primary parent without much support was overwhelming. With limited financial resources, I couldn’t afford daycare, nor did I want to. This meant I had to find time to get things done while the baby napped, leaving very little time to keep the house manageable and keep up with the necessary background work for my business.
Seeking Support and Prioritizing Self-Care
One of the first steps I took was to lean on my support system. I reached out to my partner, my therapist, and even hired a business coach who is also a mother. This helped me gain perspective and actionable advice on managing both roles. I’ve been working with my support team to find more strategies for carving out time for both myself and my business. This journey involved discovering activities that light me up and bring joy, solely for me. A significant part of this has been spending time in nature. Even when the weather doesn’t permit outdoor activities, I engage in guided meditation or visualization to recreate that sense of calm and connection.
I also rediscovered my love for crafting, opting for less stressful, simpler activities like coloring. It’s an easy craft requiring minimal supplies, and it allows me to spend just a few minutes on it, even if I don’t finish in one sitting. This has become a soothing activity, especially during the baby’s bedtime when the stress of tears can be overwhelming. I color while listening to music, which helps me disconnect from the stress and find a sense of peace.
A crucial commitment I made was to rest more. Instead of constantly working, I allowed myself time to nap and rejuvenate. Additionally, I worked with my husband to ensure I had support with the baby. This involved finding times when he could take over childcare after work or arranging for me to spend time with friends. We also sought support from grandparents and hired a babysitter a couple of times a month, providing me with more time for personal care or business tasks.
Throughout this journey, I discovered that I had been neglecting myself while trying to take care of everyone else. Implementing more self-care, especially prioritizing rest, was crucial. Giving myself permission to rest, despite feeling like something was always looming, was a significant step toward reducing my stress and overwhelm. Prioritizing self-care allowed me to better manage my responsibilities and reconnect with what truly brings me joy and peace.
Structuring Work for Better Balance
I adjusted my work schedule to support a better balance. I now work two days a week, taking a maximum of two clients per day, ensuring I still have quality time with my baby. On the days I work with clients, I refrain from other work activities to avoid burnout. This restructuring process involved a lot of trial and error. It was about figuring out what wasn’t working by trying different approaches. Through this process, I identified the small changes needed until I found a schedule that worked for both me and my family. The biggest priority for me was ensuring I had sufficient time with my baby on the days that I work.
To achieve this, I had to make conscious decisions about my work commitments. I limited the number of clients I take on and set clear boundaries for work hours. This meant not only adjusting my professional schedule but also ensuring that my time with my baby was undisturbed and meaningful. The support from my husband, who took on additional childcare responsibilities, was crucial in making this possible.
Embracing the Current Season
These changes have allowed me to relax more and reduce my stress levels. I’ve gained insight into my stress and overwhelm, realizing that this is a season for me to focus on motherhood and enjoy this part of my journey. My business can support me on the side without consuming me entirely. I came to this realization by paying close attention to what was causing me stress. The biggest stressor was being away from my baby and feeling the pressure to attend to other responsibilities. This highlighted what I truly wanted: to enjoy my time with my baby. To address this, I navigated my schedule to ensure I had enough time with my baby to feel fulfilled.
Accepting this phase has involved recognizing that these changes also signify a shift in the season for my business. I acknowledged that I don’t have as much capacity as I used to, and I began figuring out ways to adapt my business. This included shifting my business model to still provide massive value to my clients while accommodating my new priorities. For instance, I focused on creating more flexible offerings, like recorded classes or meditations, which allow me to support my clients without requiring my constant presence.
Advice for Other Working Mothers
My advice to other working mothers is to figure out what season you are in. We often take on too much, making it impossible to do everything well. Identify your priorities and allow other things to take a back seat. For me, this season is about being a mom and allowing my business to grow slowly.
Practical Steps to Identify Your Current Season and Set Priorities:
- Reflect on Your Current Stressors: Pay attention to what causes you the most stress and overwhelm. Are there specific tasks or responsibilities that consistently make you feel anxious or drained? These can be indicators of areas in your life that need adjustment.
- Assess Your Fulfillment: Consider what activities or moments bring you the most joy and satisfaction. For instance, if spending time with your baby makes you feel fulfilled, it’s a sign that your current priority should be focused on motherhood.
- Evaluate Your Capacity: Understand that your capacity to handle multiple responsibilities may vary over time. Acknowledge your current limitations and be realistic about what you can manage without compromising your well-being.
- Set Clear Boundaries: Establish boundaries between different aspects of your life. Decide what time is dedicated to work and what time is reserved for family and self-care. Communicate these boundaries to your support system to ensure they are respected.
- Prioritize Self-Care: Incorporate self-care routines that help you recharge. This might include activities like taking short naps, engaging in simple crafts, or practicing meditation. Regular self-care can improve your resilience and ability to manage multiple roles.
- Seek Support: Don’t hesitate to ask for help from your partner, family, friends, or even hire professional help if possible. Having a support system can alleviate some of the pressures and provide you with much-needed breaks.
- Adapt Your Work: Find ways to adapt your work to fit your current priorities. This could mean reducing your workload, offering more flexible services, or finding alternative ways to deliver value to your clients.
Signs You Need to Make Adjustments:
- Persistent Stress and Burnout: If you constantly feel overwhelmed and burned out, it’s a clear sign that something needs to change.
- Lack of Fulfillment: If you find that your current activities no longer bring you joy or satisfaction, it may be time to reassess your priorities.
- Physical and Emotional Exhaustion: Feeling physically and emotionally drained on a regular basis indicates that you’re overextending yourself and need to take a step back.
- Neglect of Self-Care: If you’re consistently neglecting your own needs and self-care, it’s a sign that you need to reevaluate how you allocate your time and energy.
By identifying your current season and setting clear priorities, you can create a more balanced and fulfilling life. Remember, it’s okay to let some things take a back seat while you focus on what truly matters to you in the present moment.
Looking to the Future
Looking ahead, I envision my business evolving to better support my personal life. I plan to work more with groups and create offerings like recorded classes or meditations that can be accessed anytime. This will enable me to have more family time while still running a successful business. Currently, I’m focusing on integrating more self-care and working through the emotions and feelings that come with all these changes. My primary goal is to reduce my stress levels and create a more balanced life.
One of the aspects of my work that I truly enjoy is teaching Reiki and working with Reiki practitioners. To align my business with this passion, I’m planning to offer Reiki classes again in the fall. I’m currently working on finding the best way to fit these classes into my schedule in a way that supports both my professional and personal life.
Specific Steps and Projects:
- Developing Flexible Offerings: To accommodate my new priorities, I’m working on developing more flexible offerings. This includes creating recorded classes and meditations that clients can access at their convenience. This approach allows me to continue providing value to my clients without needing to be constantly available.
- Scheduling Reiki Classes: I’m planning to schedule Reiki classes in the fall, taking into consideration my family commitments. By organizing these classes ahead of time, I can ensure they fit seamlessly into my routine, allowing me to maintain a balance between teaching and spending time with my baby.
- Building a Support Network: Continuing to build and rely on my support network is crucial. This includes leveraging support from my husband, family, and hired help to ensure I have the time and space needed to focus on both my business and personal well-being.
- Prioritizing Self-Care: Maintaining a strong self-care routine is a priority. I’m exploring various self-care activities that can help me manage stress and stay grounded. This includes spending time in nature, engaging in simple crafts, and practicing mindfulness techniques.
- Evaluating and Adjusting: I’m committed to regularly evaluating my progress and making necessary adjustments. This involves being flexible and open to change as I navigate this new phase of life. By continuously assessing what works and what doesn’t, I can make informed decisions that support my overall well-being.
- Shifting Focus for Growth: While I will continue to work with clients one-on-one, I am shifting my focus for growth onto classes, groups, and evergreen offers. This strategic shift allows me to expand my reach and impact while maintaining a balanced workload. By offering group sessions and evergreen products, I can provide valuable services without overextending myself.
By focusing on these steps, I aim to create a sustainable balance between my career and motherhood. This journey is about embracing the changes, finding joy in the present moment, and building a future that aligns with my values and priorities.
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