How often have you felt the pressure to conform to an identity or role that wasn’t truly you?
Embracing my authentic self led me to examine the numerous identities I’ve been given throughout my life. This involved questioning these identities and determining whether they genuinely represent me, or if they are simply burdens I’ve been carrying.
Becoming a mother is a new identity for me, one that was automatically assigned when I had a baby. Now, a few months into motherhood, I often find myself saying, “I love my baby, but I don’t love being a mom.” Recently, I attended a mindful parenting class where I was asked, “What do you love about being a parent?” and I struggled to find an answer. Honestly, motherhood hasn’t been as fulfilling as I anticipated. There have been times when I’ve even questioned whether becoming a mom was the right decision for me.
Despite the challenges and doubts, one thing remains clear: I absolutely adore my baby. Every gurgle, giggle, and coo melts my heart, and I am in awe of each new skill they learn. Even in the most trying moments, a single smile from my baby can instantly make everything better. The unconditional love I have for my baby is the driving force that propels me forward, through the disrupted sleep and constant attachment.
Unexpected Aspects of Motherhood
There are two unexpected aspects of motherhood for me. Firstly, it isn’t the most fulfilling experience I’ve had. Secondly, I’m overwhelmed by the immense love I feel for Alexandria. Realizing that motherhood isn’t as fulfilling as I anticipated made me understand that I had been influenced by the narrative of motherhood being a significant part of my life purpose. I firmly believed that I was destined to be a mother and that it would provide me with immense fulfillment and completeness.
Growing up, I heard stories about how I would change my brother’s diapers when I was just a few years old. I was encouraged to mature, marry, and have children. I looked at my mother and assumed I was meant to emulate her. I accepted the narrative that I was destined to be a mother and I believed it wholeheartedly. As Miguel Ruiz stated in The Four Agreements, “Whenever we hear an opinion and believe it, we make an agreement, and it becomes part of our belief system.”
After becoming a mother and experiencing this realization, I felt devastated. I was consumed with guilt for not reveling in motherhood and filled with anger because I felt like I had lost my autonomy. How could I have made an informed decision to become a mother when I was living out a narrative that was imposed on me?
The truth is, I chose to become a mother. It was a conscious decision, driven by a desire to nurture, educate, and shape a new life. However, what I didn’t fully realize at the time was that this choice didn’t mean I had to surrender my identity or conform to a traditional mold of motherhood. Instead, I can shape my experience of motherhood in a way that respects and incorporates my individuality, my passions, and my lifestyle. This realization is liberating, it allows me to embrace motherhood on my terms, without sacrificing my authenticity.
Shifting Perspectives and Owning My Choices
Here’s what I’m doing about it: I’m shifting my perspective and owning my choices. Not just the choice I made to become a mother, but also the choices I now get to make as a mom.
I am driven by the love I have for my baby, and it is this love that has me persisting in finding my own authenticity in motherhood.
I am reclaiming my autonomy, not just as a mother, but as an individual with my own interests, passions, and identity outside of motherhood. Instead of letting societal expectations dictate my experience, I am consciously defining what motherhood looks like for me.
This shift in perspective is empowering, allowing me to embrace my unique approach to motherhood and make decisions that align with my personal beliefs and lifestyle.
No matter how I navigate this journey, my ultimate goal remains the same: to provide the best for my baby. By doing so, I am creating a more authentic, fulfilling experience for both of us.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed, lost, or disconnected from your true self, remember, you are not alone. I invite you to join me in an Intuitive Healing Session, where we can work together to uncover your unique path to authenticity. Together, we can help you embrace your individuality and create a fulfilling, loving, and authentic experience. Click here to learn more and book your session today.
Intuitive Messages of the Week (Parents’ Edition)




How can you use your intuition as a parent this week? Send me a DM and share with me what comes to mind!
