How Not Trusting My Intuition Cost Me My Health

I remember waking up four years ago dreading going into work, confused about why I now dreaded doing something I used to be so passionate about. I felt bitter about my clients and blamed everyone around me for not valuing me, not seeing my worth, and taking advantage of my generosity. Eventually my bitterness grew into a depression and general disinterest in life.

I wondered why I felt that way and I kept asking the Universe for a sign or that something outside myself would change that would somehow make me happy.

The real truth was that I already knew deep down why I was feeling so miserable. There was a part of my gifts that I was holding back on sharing with others, my soul desired to be free to share energy medicine with others. Intuitively, I knew that by sharing Reiki I could help my clients on a much deeper level than I had been.

Even though I kept asking for a sign, my intuition was guiding me the entire time. I just didn’t trust it, so I ignored it and my intuitive voice got quieter and quieter. Or at least I thought so.

The way intuition works, it doesn’t just go away, it always finds another way to speak to you. So when I shut my intuition down, it found the only way it could communicate with me, by shutting down my physical body.

My passion had shifted from massage to Reiki and my intuition was guiding me to pivot my business. But I was in so much resistance that my intuition had to stop me in my tracks, through all my bitterness my body started to develop pain in my elbow that gradually got so bad that I had to stop massaging.

The day my arm gave out I knew that it was a clear message from my intuition that it was time to pivot my practice from massage to Reiki. The message was so strong, that I didn’t really have a choice, I had to stop massaging and being 100% dependent on my business I had to make a living somehow. 

My intuition found the only way that worked to speak to me, through shutting down my physical body. I had no choice but to listen to my intuition and step away from massage so that I could focus on Reiki.

Buried underneath all of that bitterness was a deep seated fear of change holding me back. My fear of change stemmed from fear that in pivoting my business I would be judged as abandoning my clients or that I would be seen as fickle.

I value loyalty and commitment and that showed up as an over commitment to others. In the process, I abandoned myself. What good is loyalty and commitment if we only reserve it for others? I was so scared of my own feelings of abandonment that I couldn’t bear to impose those feelings on others.

After my intuition cost me my health, I swore to myself to never let it happen again. Which meant listening to and following my intuition from that point forward. What I learned from finally listening to my intuition is that it actually leads to greater happiness and a stronger ability to take care of myself and my needs.

This resulted in being able to take better care of my clients, provide a more impactful service, and for me to make more money without burning myself out.

Having gone through the frustration that comes with not following my intuition’s guidance toward my purpose, it became easy to recognize when others do something that makes them miserable for the sake of making others happy or doing what makes them miserable for material success. 

I’ve noticed so many other service providers burning themselves out through trying to please people by offering what they think clients want instead of listening to their intuition and creating their offers based off what is aligned with their truth.

After finally listening to my intuition, I realized that it was the best way to create offers that support myself and my clients. Over the past couple of years, I’ve been able to share this process with my clients and see them thrive by following their business intuition!

My vision inside my new program Intuitive Offer Creation is to share this process with hundreds of service providers who are struggling to trust their intuition. 

If you’d like to smash through these people pleasing blocks and finally follow your intuition’s calling. I’d love to invite you to dive into Intuitive Offer Creation with us! Just send me a message on Instagram for a sneak peek of the program!

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